Tuesday, November 24, 2015

rants

1. props for the people whom able to keep up their commitments on blogging, not just a random energy spike when you "feel like you want to", change everything to be cute and updated with your latest style but later forget about it, and the next 3-6 months open it again, hardcore cringe with the contents that you've created, delete again, update the layout, colors, logo, forget about it again, and so on and so forth. lingkaran setan.

2. journaling my ass. I only able to keep up with my journaling project until 1/4 of the book (ps. plus it's a very thin one) and cannot carry on because of laziness and all.
laziness and all.
LAZINESS. orang seperti saya lah yang jatuh miskin pas keluar dari rumah orangtua, yha

3. these days i tend to contemplate about the path of my life. why do i keep being the little fish in the big pond. i feel so unworthy with the fate in which ive been given. i don't think i fit in my uni, so many smart people and i dont feel smart at all. i've always been the over-achiever but in the context of dreams and goals (making it unrealistic), at the end the pressure from the consequences of my choice making me so stressed out, thinking im an idiot, believing im an idiot, accepting im and idiot, giving in for being an idiot. *sigh*

4. at my first semester in my uni i dont have many friends. at the third semester, i have many friends and end up chatting and forgetting my duty as a student, which is paying attention and listen. misery makes me focus to my self fulfillment and social life is the opposite, i dont know what im talking about

5. why am i very good at comprehending but so bad at defining. why am i very good with things purposed to myself rather for others? selfishness at its best.

6. because of rants #5 i end up spend my alone time in the library, reading books and taking naps. the library in my uni is frickin heaven, so many good books. i've reread all 7 Harry Potter books both in Indonesian and English (so 14?), Fatherland, The Green Mile, The Road, 3 of Albert Camus' work, 5 chickflicks, and more. currently reading Camus' compilation of notebooks from 1930'ish to -40? if i wasn't mistaken and starting the Lord of The Rings series. KAPAN BELAJARNYA

7. My english speaking ability (and writing) is bad and i should feel bad. (why do i join the UI''s MUN? mau mati. ambis2 bgt manusia di dalamnya)

8. every time i open the internet i always end up watching make up tutorials in youtube. it's like magic when i saw those girls from 0 to 100 real quick

8 is an odd number to end a list but whatever bye